So the other day, I’m browsing through Facebook and I come across an article posted by a friend titled, “25 Signs You Found The Man You Could Spend The Rest Of Your Life With.” And while I respect the perspective of relationships are different between say a “new love” and that of someone who has been with their husband thirteen years, I found myself curious how many of these “25 signs” we would fit into now? I was guessing about two. I wasn’t far off.
Right out of the gate, we failed…and I laughed.
“1) He surprises you for no other reason than to see you smile.” Yeah, now-a-days the only surprise that would make me smile would be coming home to a clean house and there not being 8 pair of shoes by the back door, but I can promise you that won’t happen just to see me smile. Okay, so that’s not the only surprise that would make me smile, but it would be a huge smile if it happened. A pregnant girl can dream. *Hint *Hint honey!
“2) He pays attention when you talk.” Ha! Now that’s funny! I’m pretty sure at this point the hubster is either half deaf or ignores 92.6% of what comes out of my mouth. Not that I can blame him. My words usually revolve somewhere around my latest book boyfriend or my undying efforts to hire a half-naked, very ripped and tan, 22-year-old male house cleaner, preferably with a little exotic nationality. Really, I don’t want much. And the hubster has agreed…with one condition of course, I add “fe” in front of that “male”.
But, you get the idea…Maybe we once fell into these categories of “cutesy” relationship bliss, but things change. And soon those cute things he used to do won’t help when the bills come due and the baby’s screaming at 2 am. Again!
So I decided to make my own list, “10 Things That Will Carry You Through The Years.” Because let’s be honest, foundations aren’t built out of rose petals.
1) You can survive the pre-caffeine, getting ready for work dance 4 out of 5 days of the week, without wanting to poison his coffee. Laugh now, but there are no worse claws than those of the pre-caffeine hours. And hey, no one’s perfect, so 4 out of 5 mornings is good enough.
2) He disposes of bugs…with minimal grumbling. Now, I am all for being a mighty, strong woman, but not when it comes to oversized bugs, especially spiders. There are few times when you will see me act “girly,” but let a spider pop out unexpectedly and I will scream like a valley girl.
3) He ignores your passenger seat driving…90% of the time. You know you do it. We all do. You get in the car, and before you can get a mile down the road you’re critiquing. But it’s his ability to just flat out ignore you that will actually be your saving grace. Why? Because think of all the time you spend in the car…that’s a lot of useless arguments if he engages.
4) He ignores your absurd nagging in general. What’s that you ask, isn’t ignoring your wife bad? Nope. It’s a life saver. Men are smart – shhhh…don’t tell them we think so! A smart, good man knows when to let it roll on by. And when you become a smart wife, you realize when to adhere to his silent gesture and let it go. We can’t help that we are uber opinionated, but finding a good man that will sort through what’s worthy of his attention and what’s just your lips moving is actually a great quality.
5) Hormones…The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. The Good keep things spicy *wink *wink, The Bad come and go, and The Ugly…well, we call that pregnancy. Surviving them is key. Good luck!
6) Accepting the toilet seat in the up position. For ages, women have gripped that the seat should be put back down after use. It’s just a pointless argument; if it’s up, put it down before you sit. Problem solved. The temperature battle though, now that’s a worthy fight!
7) Dinner. These days, I make a menu for the week as to limit our “what to have” conversation to one time a week. But in the olden days we had to find the balance between my “I don’t care” (which I really did care) and his “do not kill her for saying I don’t care again”. Not an easy feat!
8) Have tickle fights. Seriously. I know this seems juvenile but sometimes you just have to act like a kid. And sometimes it leads to some very adult things.
9) Surviving home projects. There was a time very early on that I wasn’t sure we weren’t getting a divorce over replacing a bathroom light fixture. There we stood, both on the vanity, necks kinked in awkward positions, and I dropped the tiny screw. Honestly, I thought it might be the end, but we survived. Barely. Since then, we have learned the art of working together…or when to make one’s self very scarce.
And for the final test of all time, to know if you really have what it takes to last decades…
10) Move. The further the better. I can’t count the number of times we have packed up and moved over the years, but when you master the art of moving without killing each other, you know you got it. If moving four states away didn’t break you, nothing will.
